Effort

My body went from effortlessly walking about. Capable, defying flexibility & dynamic motion. I could do anything physical, would work out & play sports with ease. In an instant, of unfortunate timing, I was struck by a car while riding my bike. 

Effortless because extreme effort. My biggest challenge. Simply walking. I was always very physical and now just the simple motion of walking takes extreme effort and work. My left leg, I’ve been able to modify my movements with the support of the right leg so it works like a pendulum because I can’t feel it, it only produces pain in motion & cause & affect issues because I’m swinging my leg to walk instead of pushing off the ground.  My ankle will drop if I truly don’t pay attention to my motions. 

Effort. Every movement. Using my fast brain to literally study my every movement to see if I can do anything to reduce the amount of pain, increase my mobility & decrease the effort it takes to walk.  I have to manipulate my nutrition to control the inflammation and use soaking and heating as well. I’ve slowly found ways to improve then hit plateaus. Sometimes I slip and don’t mind my motions and it sets me back a bit. The one thing that never changes is the effort it’s taking to try to make it effortless.  

It’s truly amazing how you can repair the body & push through to continue to see improvement with effort. Really gives me the strength to keep trying because I think the minute I sit down & stop putting in the effort  is the minute my body will lock up & I’ll loose it all. I guess it’s living the dream because although it’s a struggle I’ve turned it into a positive & a better understanding of the human body & psyche! Using nutrition, mental & physical therapy, nerve therapy & excercise to repair the problems & make improvements as much as possible with THC & CBD to help take the edge off instead of pharmaceuticals. 

The one thing that has made it easier to continue to put forth such effort is eliminating the need for people to understand or know my pain. It doesn’t matter & I no longer need others to validate what I know exists & removing that part of the effort has allowed me to hyper focus on treating myself. I find that seems to be a huge road block for people who suffer from pain issues or hidden handicaps, the effort into convincing people about what they feel, limitations and needs. That’s the part of the human psyche that needs the effort to be towards a change in perspective. Knowing your effort & focus on getting better is the only validation you need to spark the ability to thrive & feel better by making the effort to improve & reduce pain to work towards becoming effortless. 

“Those times when you get up early and you work hard; those times when you stay up late and you work hard; those times when you don’t feel like working — you’re too tired, you don’t want to push yourself — but you do it anyway. That is actually the dream. That’s the dream. It’s not the destination, it’s the journey. And if you guys can understand that, what you’ll see happen is that you won’t accomplish your dreams, your dreams won’t come true, something greater will.” - Kobe Bryant

Chronic Pain

Last week I was given a devastating blow!  I was told by all medical professionals that I'm currently seeing that basically it's time to just come to terms with the fact that I'm going to need two more surgeries.  A new orthopedic doctor looked at me during a consultation for a pain management epidural and said it's been two years since you were hit by the car, you've had five cervical epidurals already.  If you think that i'm going to give you the six magical epidural that suddenly fixes everything, than I'm sad to tell you, you're sorely mistaken.  He refused to do anything but refer to me to a surgeon for a consultation.  Now, I face having my hip operated on again because I have major symptoms that should be gone by now and they want to slice my neck open through the front to fix my spine!  I'm honestly terrified. I could go through all of this and end up worse or I could have to live like this forever.  I've cried my heart out over it but as long as I keep my stress levels down I can keep the terror from occupying my mind. I don't take any pain medication so the mental strength I use to stay positive is very emotional and very deep. It's like the Ancient Greek mythology story of the man tied to the rock and a bird pecks at him for eternity. That's what it's like living with chronic  pain.  

Through out this journey I have found a routine of using alternative measures along with holistic nutrition to take the edge off and make sure that the rest of me is in tip top optimum health. I would like to share with everybody a day in my life combating chronic pain and supporting optimum health with physical restrictions: 

Wake up Marijuana Joint: curbs pain, numb limbs, spasms and stiffness 

Turn on music to keep my mind positive. Pain is less noticeable when you're singing a George Michael song. 

Breakfast: all you can eat! 

Grapefruit: curbs appetite, reduces cholesterol, support heart health, positively influences blood lipid                    levels 

Pineapple: packed with vitamin C as well as other vital nutrients and minerals, it also contains an       enzyme called Bromelain which effectively helps joint pain, arthritis, inflammation and surgical recovery 

Dates:  fiber, potassium, manganese, magnesium, copper, b6 

Cold Pressed Turmeric Latte: mix 1 tablespoon each of honey, cinnamon and turmeric with hot water and cold pressed coffee

Benefits: anti-inflammatory, lubricates joints, pain killer and a little caffeine to offset the sluggishness pain gives you! 

15/30 minutes: Cool Therapy icing to reduce pain and inflammation and get my leg and neck ready to bare the day 

15/30 minutes: Epsom salt bath to reduce inflammation

Now I'm ready to get my blood pumping so the properly functioning parts of my body get some cardiovascular work, so they can support the rest of what's going on. I smoke marijuana prior so I can do this without increased pain. Since I cannot do anything with impact, I will do 1hr of Ballet (cardio barre), stationary bike or mild incline hike as well as some hand weights. My pain is still present during these activities but because of the morning routine, it doesn't increase. While I'm moving, I know it's there but mentally I feel a release I desperately need.

Post "work out"-

Greens Juice: cucumber, kale, collard greens, spinach, celery, cayenne, ginger, lemon and apple. 

Benefits: nutrients, minerals, anti-inflammatory 

30 minutes: Cool therapy Machine to reduce pain 

15/20 minutes: Epsom salt bath 

Now, I have about an hour or maybe two where I try to accomplish a blog post, or office tasks I need to do. It's very hard for me to sit still because it hurts and my body has spasms and ticks and I constantly have to reposition. 

Lunch: 

6 cups or more- Greens (spinach, romaine, arugula): high water content to reduce inflammation, iron, B vitimans, blood health, heart health, protein

Garbanzo Beans: fiber, protein

Cucumbers: high water content to reduce inflammation, detoxes body 

Beets: detox, blood health, minerals, vitimans, mental health, digestive health

Tomato: anti-oxydents, immune system support 

Curry spice: joint lubricant, cardiovascular health 

Dressing: balsamic or red vinegar mixed with sweet hot mustard And pepper...

32 oz home brewed - muscle recovery tea with turmeric

The afternoon is usually a doctors appointment, physical therapy or some sort of treatment to help me feel better or try to fix the issues. I smoke marijuana before any of these activities so I can do them. 

Snack: Green Juice: Greens Juice: cucumber, kale, collard greens, spinach, celery, cayenne, ginger, lemon and apple. 

Benefits: nutrients, minerals, anti-inflammatory 

30-60 minutes Hot tub: increases circulation, jets help sooth spasms and soreness

Dinner:  This is where I get a little break from having to eat to support my issues!  I either eat high fat/high protein or high carb/low fat!  This purely comes down to food combining. If I eat high carb high fat, I swell up and my stomach hurts so I seldomly do that.  So it's either a ribs or meat/veggies or pasta or grains/veggies! Always all you can eat! Sometimes I have an alcohol drink with dinner if I want to.  This is the time where I usually find my pleasure factor with eating. A lot of the time I feel the impacts of these choices immensely the next morning or immediately after but I need the joy that comes with pleasure eating to give my life balance and satisfy my palletes desires. If I didn't have this 20% of pleasure from food I would explode. It's natural for us to want to eat for pleasure so finding this balance has enabled me to maintain a healthy weight, body and mind.

After dinner I usually take a medicated edible that eventually puts me to sleep for about 10 hrs which is the only time I kinda get a break from pain! 

I know it all sounds like a chore and terrible to have to do day in and day out, I do mix in fun activities but one day away from this take 2 days to get back to bare able. A lot of people think I'm anti social but the truth is when you live with chronic pain you want to be alone a lot so people don't see you hurt. You have to plan and build yourself up for events and prepare for the recovery time from the exertion but this is all better than being addicted to narcotics and having no chance to get better. I have to protect myself from inexcusably stress and all of the things that doctors say can cause us ailments because it's all true and my body and mind are so vulnerable to them. 

I could dwell on what's happened and stop living but instead I choose to use what I can to manage with what I'm faced with until a time comes along where I am better. I know what serves me and what doesn't because I do the work to live the best I can with circumstances I am faced with.