Thursday, February 26, 2015

Falling off my holistic HIGH Horse....

July 13, 2013
You win some, you lose some and sometimes you just have to fall off your holistic high horse and take the freakin pills!  Today is one of those days where I feel like I've lost!  I've prided myself on being able to use all alternative measures to control my pain so that I can truly pin point whats going on with my body and thus enabling me to actually heal.  I even have a stupid little saying I repeat to myself "If you can't feel, you can't heal"  Well, fuck that I need a break!   I just took a percoset!

With everything that goes on with our lives there seems to be this very weird divide where its all or nothing.  That's why most people don't last 2 weeks with their New Years Resolutions because they make such stringent demands on themselves and big promises and the second they stray a little, they just give up.  I think that the key to our success with everything is to truly ditch the social stigma that makes us feel we have to go big or go home.  We have put so much pressure on ourselves to be like everyone else when in reality everyone else is looking to you.  When you truly become holistic it means that you become natural and true to yourself.

Although taking a pain pill made me feel like I was defeated, it also made me proud that I know when to say when.  It also showed me that even though my holistic ways do help me to control a lot of the symptoms I experience, I am not functioning as well as I could if I used Narcotics to control my pain. Today under the influence of not only my holistic measures but pain medication I increased my productivity by 65%.  So, now I know that I need to check in with a pain specialist and expand on my holistic measures to make me as productive as I can be without having to take the pain meds.

Through learning how to have balance in my life with everything, I have also learned not to be so set in my ways that it is detrimental to my own well being.  It's like when you watch a vegan who is just vegan for principle, be tortured by watching someone eat a cheeseburger, you have to wonder why? Why, are you torturing yourself, when you clearly want a cheeseburger?  It goes back to that all or nothing mentality.

I've found that for me to be successful in things that are important to me like being chemical free and using holistic alternative medicine, that I use the word tendencies with whatever it is I'm passionate about.  I do a lot of raw recipes that help promote the healing in my cells/bones and help with inflammation control and these tend to be Vegan.  When I share these recipes, I'm always asked if I am a Vegan and I tell people that I have Vegan tendencies.  When asked to elaborate, I explain that I eat a lot of Vegan, Raw and Holistic dishes about 80% of the time but have a soft spot for Ribs.  If your convictions are causing you turmoil then you are not being holistic and true to your natural desires.  I don't think that we are naturally capable of omitting something from our lives that we truly love without paying for it in some way.  One day that Vegan who wants that cheeseburger is going to explode and go on a crazy cheeseburger eating rage and do more damage to their body and their morals then they would have if they let themselves have that occasional cheeseburger during their pleasure eating.  By restricting, we create more problems to our health and our mind then if we realize that our wants are holistic to our true selves and we must learn how to feed them through creating a lifestyle that suits our personal health needs and pleasurable desires.

The point of being holistic is to get your body working in optimum health through your diet and lifestyle so that 80% of the time you are feeding your body, mind and soul what it naturally needs so that 20% of you life is based on pleasurable eating and western medicine when absolutely necessary.
Although it took me an hour to decide to take a pain pill, I know that my body through aggressive spasms was asking for a break and that's what I gave it.  I can understand why all of these people are addicted to pain meds because I feel incredible right now and could easily give in to feeling this way daily, like most people in my condition do, but I know that it will only start a downward spiral of additional side affects caused by taking the pills.  So instead of developing a dependency to pain pills to function better, tomorrow I hop back on my holistic high horse and search for additional alternative measures.

Being holistic really gives me the best of both worlds and hopefully I can show other people the way to finding their happy medium!

Wednesday, February 25, 2015


Often, I wake up with crazy neck and shoulder spasms that make it hard for me to lift my right arm and control it, plus my body always hurts.  So, to pick myself up with a little treat and also for the added benefits of raw coconut, dates and fig, I created a Raw Macaroon Recipe that you can whip up in literally 2 minutes!  They are all natural and beyond delicious.

Recipe: Servings 1

5 dried figs 
7 dates (pitted)
1/4 cup raw dried coconut
1tsp Coconut Nectar or Honey


pinch of nutmeg, cinnamon & cloves


Cal: 291 Fat: 7g Carbs: 59g Protein: 3g

Gluten Free, GMO Free, Processed Free, Chemical Free


Soak dates to soften for 1 minute in warm water. Place all ingredients into your food processor.  Chop and Grind until ingredients are forming clumps together.  Form into macaroons or what ever shape you want.  You can eat them right away or place in the fridge to set.  

Health Benefits:

FIG: Dried figs are an excellent sources of minerals like calcium, copper, potassium, manganese, iron, selenium and zinc. 100 g of dried figs contain 680 mg of potassium, 162 mg of calcium, and 2.03 mg of iron. Potassium is an important component of cell and body fluids that helps controlling heart rate and blood pressure. Copper is required in the production of red blood cells. Iron is required for red blood cell formation as well for cellular oxidation.

DATES:The significant amount of minerals found in dates make it a super food for strengthening bones and fighting off painful and debilitating diseases like osteoporosis. Dates contain selenium, manganese, copper, and magnesium, all of which are integral to healthy bone development and strength, particularly as people begin to age and their bones gradually weaken. Side note:  They also increase your sex drive, which could explain why I'm so excitable after eating these...

RAW COCONUT: Supports immune system health: it is anti-viral, anti-bacterial, anti-fungal, and anti-parasite Provides a natural source of quick energy and enhances physical and athletic performance

My theory:  Our brain senses pleasure through food and our cells receive their nutrition.  While having spasms, it usually creates a headache with it because its a counter affect of the nerve activity.  By making a sweet treat that is easily digestible, pleasurable and has all the added health benefits, it aids in not only helping your body to fix the problem it also changes your mentality because of the pleasure factor. So, before I reach to take pharmaceuticals, I make something like this, vaporize some cbd canabanoids and within an hour or so of eating it my symptoms are usually reduced by 30 - 40 % and become manageable.  Are they completely gone and I feel good as new, NO! But the goal is to have things be manageable which doesn't mean perfect but at a level that you can function.  

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

My Journey to a holistic life.....

A Blog... I'm finally doing it.  For years my friends have asked me to do a sex blog because of how open I am about the matter, wise and because of how much I love it but seriously just a blog about me and all the sex!?  How boring! Instead, I bring you the whole package!  A perfect blend of my history, my struggles, my escapades, my passions.... MY LIFE!

STATS: Currently I am 35 years old, very much so a woman, 5'8 and 143lbs.... oh and my name is Amy.  Now, that we've become acquainted not because i told you my stats but because you know i love sex, lets get started.

I know that this should be my first blog post but instead I felt like I needed to test the waters and completely throw my mom under the bus and make it seem like she caused all of my eating disorders and crushed my self esteem with her very own hands while she screamed at me "You're fat" repeatedly.  Although, thinking back it may have felt like that, it was not the case, I needed you all to see where i came from as just a chubby 13 year old girl from the valley who was called a whale and went on to fat camp that summer and so began the biggest misinterpretation of my life.  The word DIET!  Seriously when you think of the word diet, the first things that come to my mind are restrictions, torture, hunger and gimmicks.  I would be willing to bet my tits that if you ask 5 people randomly 4 out of 5 will say some sort of restriction on eating when in reality this is the definition of the word:

 DIET (n) noun- the kinds of food that a person, animal, or community habitually eats:

Crazy?! Right?  Our diet is suppose to represent the types of foods that we eat to keep our bodies in optimum health not to fit into a size 0 or to have a six pac abs or fit into the social norm of what an expectable body should look like according to society.  So if our diet is suppose to feed our bodies so that we can live and our body functions to support our life then how could all of these "diets" feed us fake processed powdered foods, restrict fruits and basically have us leaving out entire food groups that are essential for our body to live and thrive.  Atkins, Paleo, South Beach, 801010, vegan.... they should all be called Guides to becoming a Skinny Corpse!

For many years I struggled to understand why I couldn't eat just one donut like everyone else and why the compulsion to over eat was so difficult for me to over come.  Although I developed a disordered relationship with food because of many circumstances at home and experiences, it still doesn't negate the fact that there was something else that had to be affecting my brain to drive my tendency to over eat into a never ending nagging message of "FEEEEED ME".  I never understood how other people didn't feel it too.

In July of 2013 I was stuck by a car while I was riding my bike.  At this point in life I had my weight under control and was working out most of my eating issues by doing the work books, meditations, speaking to therapists and becoming more vocal publicly about my issues.  During my recovery they could not diagnose an issue with my leg and hip.  Through having doctor after doctor tell me that I didn't have what I said I was feeling, I started to eliminate anything that I felt could cause clouding in my mind or affect my body negatively. I didn't want to take pharmaceuticals and since i was already studying holistic nutrition which is the principle of let food be thy medicine anyways, I started to eliminate anything unnatural from my diet.  No microwaves, no processed foods, no gmo's, no pills and everything natural.  As I started to eat more and more whole natural versions of foods i loved and developed an anti inflammatory diet, I started to notice that not only was I becoming more in tune with my body and how it was functioning but my noted disordered eating habits and tendencies seemed to not nag me mentally like they did before.  I could eat a raw chocolate truffle and feel satisfaction without any guilt and more importantly that voice asking to "FEEEEED MEEEEE" was almost gone!

All I was trying to accomplish was getting a proper diagnosis so I could walk without a limp and be normal again.  By reducing my inflammation so that I could manage my pain with marijuana and use nutrition to aid in the healing of all of my injuries and then by accident I discovered what my 13 year old chubby self from the valley had always wondered.... why my mind is always saying "FEEEEED MEEEEE" when my body wasn't.

CHEMICALS!!!!!!!  It all comes down to the quality of the foods and the chemicals in them..... #TRUTH