Falling off my holistic HIGH Horse....

July 13, 2013

You win some, you lose some and sometimes you just have to fall off your holistic high horse and take the freakin pills!  Today is one of those days where I feel like I've lost!  I've prided myself on being able to use all alternative measures to control my pain so that I can truly pin point whats going on with my body and thus enabling me to actually heal.  I even have a stupid little saying I repeat to myself "If you can't feel, you can't heal"  Well, fuck that I need a break!   I just took a percoset!

With everything that goes on with our lives there seems to be this very weird divide where its all or nothing.  That's why most people don't last 2 weeks with their New Years Resolutions because they make such stringent demands on themselves and big promises and the second they stray a little, they just give up.  I think that the key to our success with everything is to truly ditch the social stigma that makes us feel we have to go big or go home.  We have put so much pressure on ourselves to be like everyone else when in reality everyone else is looking to you.  When you truly become holistic it means that you become natural and true to yourself.

Although taking a pain pill made me feel like I was defeated, it also made me proud that I know when to say when.  It also showed me that even though my holistic ways do help me to control a lot of the symptoms I experience, I am not functioning as well as I could if I used Narcotics to control my pain. Today under the influence of not only my holistic measures but pain medication I increased my productivity by 65%.  So, now I know that I need to check in with a pain specialist and expand on my holistic measures to make me as productive as I can be without having to take the pain meds.

Through learning how to have balance in my life with everything, I have also learned not to be so set in my ways that it is detrimental to my own well being.  It's like when you watch a vegan who is just vegan for principle, be tortured by watching someone eat a cheeseburger, you have to wonder why? Why, are you torturing yourself, when you clearly want a cheeseburger?  It goes back to that all or nothing mentality.

I've found that for me to be successful in things that are important to me like being chemical free and using holistic alternative medicine, that I use the word tendencies with whatever it is I'm passionate about.  I do a lot of raw recipes that help promote the healing in my cells/bones and help with inflammation control and these tend to be Vegan.  When I share these recipes, I'm always asked if I am a Vegan and I tell people that I have Vegan tendencies.  When asked to elaborate, I explain that I eat a lot of Vegan, Raw and Holistic dishes about 80% of the time but have a soft spot for Ribs.  If your convictions are causing you turmoil then you are not being holistic and true to your natural desires.  I don't think that we are naturally capable of omitting something from our lives that we truly love without paying for it in some way.  One day that Vegan who wants that cheeseburger is going to explode and go on a crazy cheeseburger eating rage and do more damage to their body and their morals then they would have if they let themselves have that occasional cheeseburger during their pleasure eating.  By restricting, we create more problems to our health and our mind then if we realize that our wants are holistic to our true selves and we must learn how to feed them through creating a lifestyle that suits our personal health needs and pleasurable desires.

The point of being holistic is to get your body working in optimum health through your diet and lifestyle so that 80% of the time you are feeding your body, mind and soul what it naturally needs so that 20% of you life is based on pleasurable eating and western medicine when absolutely necessary.
Although it took me an hour to decide to take a pain pill, I know that my body through aggressive spasms was asking for a break and that's what I gave it.  I can understand why all of these people are addicted to pain meds because I feel incredible right now and could easily give in to feeling this way daily, like most people in my condition do, but I know that it will only start a downward spiral of additional side affects caused by taking the pills.  So instead of developing a dependency to pain pills to function better, tomorrow I hop back on my holistic high horse and search for additional alternative measures.

Being holistic really gives me the best of both worlds and hopefully I can show other people the way to finding their happy medium!