The grass over there is always brown.

Every time I ever have a whoa is me moment during my recovery something is shoved right in my face to make me change my perception.  On my recent cruise, I had gone for two days kinda shuffling slowly unassisted and from that I was sent not back to being with a crutch but to needing the electric scooter to get around.  I had just finished 3 hours of my therapy and was icing on a lounge very bummed that I couldn't go jet skiing, ziplining, rock climbing or basically do anything I live for doing. As I placed a huge bag of ice on my hip and leg the woman next to me give a chuckle from reading her book.  I turned to her and simply asked her " How are you?"  She turned and said "I'm just happy to be on vacation".

She explained that she and her husband had been planning this trip for 10 months and tried to go to a private beach on a tour that they planned only to discover that the entire beach and shoreline was over run by seaweed.  There was really no place to sit or even swim so they sucked up the loss and came back to the ship.  I was sympathetic and said I was sorry it ruined her day.  She told me that nothing could ever ruin her day.  She explained that her 28 year old son had an awful accident when he was 19.  He had received a full college scholarship with many job offers in aerospace engineering after he graduated and they were visiting him at college.  They were all avid skiers and decided to ski for the day.  She described the accident so simply.  He went over a little bump on the side of the run that sent him flying into the air where he eventually landed on his neck.

As the ski patrol was taking him away he told her, "I broke my neck, I know it"

He has been paralyzed from the neck down ever since.  He can lift his forearms up but can not put them back down, and that's the extent of his mobility.  He redesigned their house to accommodate his needs and is very active in the city council but he does need constant help to do everything.  She explained that the most exciting part of their trip was that they would both be able to sleep through the night without having to get up to move his position.  Every night for 9 years with a small vacation here and there, these selfless parents get up to reposition their helpless son as he sleeps.

I hated every minute of the hopelessness I heard in her voice but gave her as much positivity and love as I could find in me to make sure she walked away from our conversation feeling like the everyday selfless hero that she is.

It can always be worse.  Always.  So, why not be happy with what you got.

We hold the power to our happiness.

With every action causing a reaction. It's very easy to change the outcome of most situations. All it takes is stepping back from ourselves for a moment and observing the world outside our own mind for literally a second. This takes us to a different perception of situations. When I recently rented a car, the line was getting really long and each counter agent was taking forever with every renter. The people in line started to grumble about the agents incompetence with jabs about the ease of job going down the line. 

Being on crutches and having to walk very very slowly, has forced this high energy, I want it now girl, to take advantage of my time. Instead of letting that negative energy, primarily from impatience, feed me to react with the need to rush the uncontrollable and get bothered, I just keenly observed every situation around me. 

One counter agent couldn't find a reservation in the system, while another was having trouble with a Spanish speaking family not understanding what she needed and a third agent was desperately trying to rush the man with a million questions. Every person just trying to get from A to B, not maliciously trying to make people wait in a line or being shitty at their job and not caring. Just trying to get from A to B. 

So I turned to the loudest complainers and said hey, check it out; and pointed out what was going on in each situation with a little funny observation. The positivity and understanding spread like wildfire. The mood changed just like that. 

I commended the counter agents when it was my turn and really had a great experience, renting a car, in a packed terminal at 7:30 am and all because I wanted to.  

I like life a lot better this way. It's a bigger kind of thoughtful. I'm going to keep trying it. 

          

I love me but I know I'm weird to you.

Written September 20, 2015 

I'm on "vacation" right now in Florida with my mother. If we're being honest, I'm not actually relaxing at all. I'm spending most of my time doing my physical therapy, icing, soaking and doing everything to combat my swelling. I insisted my mom come with me to spend a few days with me at our house in Boca Raton. I thought it would be fun to create great memories with my mother at a place I have bad memories from when my grandparents lived here. I'm very sentimental and always think to myself "with a little effort Amy, you create a memory to last beyond the people in it". I know one day I won't have my mom so I try to make sure we do things that are special but the problem is that we are so different. I need to keep moving with activities I can do because the second I stop I will usually be out for the count. I can't go walking around a mall or from shop to shop because walking is my hardest task right now. I wish it weren't so.  It's hard to tell people that I have to spend 3 hrs getting myself ready to be able to have 4 hours of action.  People aren't usually with me the entire day so I can give off the perception I'm doing much better than I am. People, including myself, forget that I have disabilities at the moment. It's hard for people to relate to and it's even harder for me to relay.  

J E L L... Hell NO... Don't eat that shit!

I'm not even going to lecture you. Just look up what those ingredients are that make up Jello and decide if that's something you would choose to eat again. Instead of eating poison, here's a little something more delicious that actually has nutritional value for you!!! I introduce you to the fabulous ...

 

Persimmon Gello.... 

Ingredients: Persimmons with a pinch of clove, nutmeg, cinnamon and Vanilla 

Directions: 

Wash and Cut Persimmons 

Place Ingredients in Blender, Food processor, Nutribullet...anything that's Blends and Blend them together 

Pour into refrigerator safe dish and let set or eat immediately. 

Enjoy. 

Thank me later! 

My deodorant dilemma.

To me it's clear as day what a lot of the cause and affects are, that are happening to people.  It makes perfect sense to me that people raised in areas with nuclear testing and high levels of radiation seem to all develop weird forms of cancer. It seems perfectly reasonable to then be curious about the chemicals in deodorants. To me it's more evident than not that a contributing factor to cancer in woman is from us putting deodorant on near our lymph nodes and breasts.  I'm not certain it is the actual cause but it may just create the environment for cancer to grow or maybe it's because I'm not conclusive with facts and stats in hand that I won't confirm the belief 100% but it's the fear in me that puts me in a great dilemma. What's more important, smelling fresh by using chemical filled deodorants that could potentially kill me or smelling of a faint curry BO while using organic deodorants?  I just don't know what do to...

               currently... Curry. 

Being Blunt!

Here's a great Article on why your best friend is your blunt friend!  

http://www.idealistrevolution.org/7-reasons-the-blunt-friend-is-the-best-friend-youll-ever-have/

This is Me! Most people can't handle the truth of who they are and what they're doing. When you love your entire being, faults and imperfections... You're blunt and life is happier.. Try it! 

Here's me smoking a blunt: 

Gun control and Stuff. 2cents. For what it's worth...

When your man looks at me, I'm the bad girl because of my outfit when the problem is your mans wondering eyes. When someone kills with a gun, the guns are bad guys but the real issues at the root that cause the Violence still exist. Neither actual issue is solved.  We always dance with the problems instead of admitting emotionally and mentally we are failing as a society, let's make real changes to help us emotionally grow. Obesity, sexual deviance and violence are emotional issues. Race and sexuality must finally be excluded because all of it, it's a HUMAN epidemic. #mentalhealth