By 12:15pm on Tuesday my day has gone like this. I woke up to a message from a yelper named Brooklyn C. whose subject line was....
I then try to get moving and crutch myself to pool physical therapy which let me tell you, i'm ready for this all to be over with but nothing I can do. I work on my walking which is a type of pain I can't even describe. I ice and have nerve stimulation. As I'm leaving therapy and I struggle to get into my car, I look at the handicap placard form I've been carrying around trying to avoid admitting I need but seriously, I'm handicapped, at least for now. At this point, I must admit I need the help and that this isn't giving in but this is loving myself enough to know I need it... as I'm waiting for my number to be called at the DMV, the woman whom i moved a seat for so she could be next to her daughter and grandson, is horseplaying and sends the screw on my own crutch jarring into my incision area... son of a bitch...a sign things can always be worse!? So just be patient. But alas, I've accepted my place and time in my life. Handicapped. Temporarily. I'm hoping.
What can you do? The only thing you can do.... I laugh it off. I guess. Sadly, it's happened before. Still so horrifying. But not shocking, which is the part of all of it that makes me sad. Sad that a stranger would hold no restraint to write that he wants to sexually violate me and even sadder that we are not even safe to walk the streets without a jerk off jerking off. I'm a strong girl but I feel horrible for their next victim or even the fact that anyone has to be a victim. Its helplessness at its purist form. Nothing you can do and nothing can be done to undo it or prevent it from happening again.
I honestly don't know what the point of this post is. I guess with how hard i've fought the last two years to be able to walk, let alone enjoy the wonders of the world and all the amazing adventures that are left to be had, it's really really disappointing that people would rather be doing harm to others than enjoying all the gifts this earth has for us. It stirs resentment in me. I would give anything to be off exploring which is why I give everything I do my everything.
I could sit and be angry for the clear sense of violation from everything I experienced today, and turn it outwards because someone has to pay or instead, I do what I always do, I turn around and give even more kindness and love to the world around me. I like to think to make these things right, if every time we are wronged by behavior we turned around and gave love and kindness two fold into the world, so in essence, my two rights would cross out a wrong!
Wishful thinking and a steady practice......
... Live Love Laugh ... Seriously.