I feel like I've lost my sense of humor, kind of. Well only with other people. I find myself unhappy when I have to deal with others but joyful happy go lucky alone. It's hard to be silly around people who do things that just aren't funny. I also use to indulge in making fun of others and now that I've expanded my mind with becoming more aware, that isn't really a source of humor anymore. I feel it's small minded. How easy is it to point out an overweight girl in booty shorts, it's her prerogative and the guy with the fungus feet, I just feel bad that nobody tells him or makes him watch a network sponsored by Lamisil. Those ads are everywhere.
I use to think that having a lot of friends meant that I was a like able person and it would validate me. No matter what, I could always rely on the fact that I had a lot of friends but the fact is I couldn't rely on my friends. At least not like I thought you should be able to. You see I was born with the gift of empathy so I take everyone into consideration. I love making people feel special and I am the person that makes it happen. Horses delivered at midnight to a beach side wedding on a whim, it's done. I can't be at a birthday in another state so I sent 10 orders of guacamole in my place. All of these things just to make others laugh. I reveled in it but somewhere along the line the lack of appreciation wore me down. I started to realized I wanted to do the things I was doing but just not for the ones I was doing it for. Always bending over backwards for others and in any time of need always standing strong alone. Eventually feeling alone with hundreds of "friends", I started to just pick these people apart. All of my friendships were one sided. I learned that friends I had for life were more interested in making money off of me, asking for unlimited favors or just looking for something to use as gossip. So, I just stopped. I stopped just giving and started thinking of myself and what made me happy. The response was overwhelmingly negative. If I didn't find joy in something I wouldn't go and that's when I really started living my life. Only being around the people who really loved me not just the "things" that you get from having me in your life and those that were thoughtful. This wasn't excluded from family. I have no obligations to anyone but me and if you're not adding joy to my life, then you're not going to be in it. Period. The go to girl for others was no more and neither was the fake love. I suddenly saw everyone for who they really are and I stopped laughing with them at my own expense. I offer my kindness to strangers in brief exchanges of joy anywhere that I go so that I can have my humor back.
I'm very funny, always silly laughing and hilarious situations always seem to find me. I'm happy within myself and it doesn't take me putting down others for me to find humor in life. So, if I'm jumping down your throat and not showering you with humor and kindness it's because I think you're the joke and how you behave or treat others isn't so funny.
My favorite comedians are the ones that make you think, like George Carlin because when you really think about our world, economics, government, politics and life as we know it, it's so ridiculous, it should be the butt of our jokes because our mindless vanity inspired gossip hungry make fun of other people humor is contributing to the decline of humanity and that's not so funny. To me at least. These are some quotes I think are funny...
